shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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