she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
