Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn

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  (708): it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn http://tfl.nu/jekg
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (1239)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

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  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
  Replies (10) Good night (619) Bad night (2239)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

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  (480): This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner. http://tfl.nu/bzec
  Replies (9) Good night (3989) Bad night (826)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1075) Bad night (5420)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

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  (914): I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you... http://tfl.nu/2hf7
  Replies (59) Good night (11400) Bad night (1482)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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  (905): while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger" http://tfl.nu/ftph
  Replies (20) Good night (4258) Bad night (1076)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3127) Bad night (1379)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.

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  (978): This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke. (1-978): Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting. http://tfl.nu/cqts
  Replies (11) Good night (3559) Bad night (715)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

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  (719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29
  Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (910)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...

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  (503): So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address... http://tfl.nu/a3xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1760) Bad night (450)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?

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  (541): theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch? http://tfl.nu/3hhq
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (2043)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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  (775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (472)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

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  (303): I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive? http://tfl.nu/iyw4
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (270)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.

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  (214): I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef. http://tfl.nu/ln6b
  Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (289)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (239)

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