I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.