you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.