Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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  (520): I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless. http://tfl.nu/n39p
  Replies (36) Good night (1161) Bad night (3008)
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  (310): View more from California

  four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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  (310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu
  Replies (21) Good night (972) Bad night (4557)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (2999)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.

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  (248): I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory. http://tfl.nu/kmrf
  Replies (4) Good night (4229) Bad night (1281)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

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  (901): Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train! http://tfl.nu/ural
  Replies (6) Good night (2083) Bad night (801)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

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  (416): He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner. http://tfl.nu/hs5r
  Replies (2) Good night (2221) Bad night (979)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (2248)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.

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  (+44): Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife. http://tfl.nu/3wb9
  Replies (11) Good night (900) Bad night (2440)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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  (985): He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period. http://tfl.nu/gmxu
  Replies (10) Good night (3168) Bad night (1394)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient

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  (206): She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient http://tfl.nu/4t82
  Replies (1) Good night (1767) Bad night (602)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.

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  (210): What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that. http://tfl.nu/vntm
  Replies (12) Good night (1805) Bad night (513)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

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  (803): You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night. http://tfl.nu/009v
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (1197)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.

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  (765): I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community. http://tfl.nu/6jel
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (392)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon

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  (970): She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon http://tfl.nu/u33x
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt

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  (972): Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt http://tfl.nu/6r1m
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (316)

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