Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
