I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
