dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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