I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize