well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
