it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
