Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
