What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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