Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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