i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
