Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
