after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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