hotel room ftw
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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