We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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