We got so high we made milksteak
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
