I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
