if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
