I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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