Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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