How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need water and some morals
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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