I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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