Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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