there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
