Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
