i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
