he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
