she smelled like a LAN party
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
