I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
