i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Four minutes until I can fart!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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