Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
