I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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