She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no, he came in my armpit
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
