Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
