And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
