"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
