There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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