Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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