so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
