we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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