i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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