normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
