u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
