She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel great
I just peed on a car
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
