how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize