Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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