Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
