You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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