i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
be right there i have to get my cape
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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