They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
