well you can't waste a boner
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize