bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's the barista slut.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?