I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
