so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
