i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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