you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your cock deserves a montage
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
