woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.