She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
