I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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