Pants 0. Shit 1.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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